A June Babies Journey

WHITNEY!!!!!!!

2012-02-12T06:23:00.000-08:00

She was found in her hotel room at 3:55p.m. and she was 48 years old

This is a truly sad day as the GREAT and ICONIC Whitney Houston has left the earth. I mean I got to my office this morning and started to listen to her tracks and just lost it. OMG I am sooo happy no one else was in there with me when I lost it. I mean the sound of that voice and to have the notion that we will never hear it again is just crazy to me.

She is one of the greatest voices ever to grace a stage and many have been touched by her gift from God. Many have decided to pick up a microphone and start to sing just because of her voice. From her millions of album sales, sold out world tours, countless awards, and millions of adoring fans She is the utter definition of a Legend and icon and true pop royalty. She will always be remembered and there most certainly will never be another with those pipes.

Her voice was so good because she did more then just belt. She always had perfect vocal technique and effortlessly floated from one note to the other. She had the range and grit in her voice that allowed her to fly all over the musical spectrum. Pop, R&B, a clear acapella, the woman could do anything and could do no wrong vocally when she was at the top of her game.

These are some of her best performances

1994 World Music Awards- I will Always Love You

One Moment in Time- Grammys

Home- Ed Norton Show

A Song for You

Singing I Love You Porgy

A Compilation of her best vocals

And My Favorite Whitney Song of all time
Run to You

Feeling Broken!!!!

2011-09-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

I am hurting ya'll. I feel kinda broken, scared and alone. The worst part, I feel like I and only I can get through this. I been through a lot lately and it just is breaking me down. I am sooo vulnerable and emotional and I don't feel great in this space. I was in a relationship that really put a mirror to my face and I almost screamed at the reflection. I mean this guy doesn't let me get away with anything but I hate the fact that he can get away with murder. Then he wants to act as though he is my daddy as well which is not cool. I mean there were many good things about the relationship but I also feel the relationship was breaking me down because of the constant critiques and also the constant negativity over nothing.

It was just creating more stress in my life that I need at this point honestly.

At times I feel he wants to just control me and wants me to listen to him and only him as if nothing and no one else matters. Calling what other people have to say dismissive. But isn't him calling someone else' comment dismissive dismissing what they have to say all together??? We had dinner recently and he told me that I really don't like to hear the truth. To that I say what is the truth really but a personal opinion? I mean I could see if you are talking about an event but if you are making an assessment that is your opinion NOT an actual truth. I wonder why he doesn't seem to understand that at all. The hardest part is i feel that he gave up on us. I mean we had a couple of disagreements and that was it he wanted out. Also, I feel like he never really listened to what I have to say. I mean I felt like he was always battling me instead of hearing what I really had to say. I always listen to him and try to process what he says but he always wants to have a comeback for everything I say as if he is flawless which no human is at all.

I am broken because he feels I took him for granted and didn't care about him which is sooo not the case. But i am mainly sad because for the first time in my life I feel I MUST be alone because I am going through a period which only i can go through and come out of and I realize I need to be single. Like completely single. I mean only I can help myself. I am currently enrolled in a class that I feel dumb in because it is in a different language.

And sometimes I feel like I am not going to make it and I feel I am not strong enough to make it. But I just have to keep pushing you know, just have to keep pushing. Hoping to rise above it all you know.

*uck YOUUUUUUUU!!!

2011-03-09T12:07:00.000-08:00

Seeing as this song has received much play over the past few months, is a hit and even garnered several Grammy nominations (which really in all honesty shocked me) I wanted to touch on this mindset that this song plays to and how society is being shaped to think this way.

It was brought to my attention in a recent conversation between a friend and I; that we as people are starting to take other people for granted. This was an interesting theory to me because if we look closely that is where everything has been headed for years, but it looks like all of the messages we have seen are finally coming to a head. Beyonce came out with irreplaceable the #1 SMASH where she basically tells her man to get gone because she knows she easily go out and get someone else without a problem.

Then her husband Jay came out with the street anthem on to the next. A song in which he describes after he has had his way then it is on to the next best thing. Teaching people to just get what they want from someone or something and then simply move on after they themselves are satisfied.

Now we have the anthem of many in Fuck You which is basically telling off an individual someone (Cee-lo) one had genuine feelings for to Fuck off just because that person did not return the favor.

I observe this type of behavior all the time on the streets between men and women. The men are clearly interested and will try to holla or talk to a young lady, then when the female doesn't respond favorably the man flips completely out and calls her all types of names. In my personal opinion this is because the man's pride is hurt and he wants to save face and not make it seem like his feelings are hurt.

It sparks a mindset between people and especially teens that people have no worth and that they are disposable when they clearly are not. I mean people are not toys that you can just discard of when you are tired of dealing with them. People in most ways are extremely complex and worth getting to know in some way. We are the most complex individuals on the face of the planet. I believe this is one of the key reasons relationships tend to fall apart now. People are so willing to move on to the next best thing instead of appreicating what is in front of them. Where did this twisted logic of people being replaceable come from?

What happened to the songs that were about loyalty and honesty. Where are the songs about monogamy and settling down??? There are none. I find this extremely interesting because everyone knows that music can change or even shape the way we ask humans are feeling at times. So why do our mainstream hit records have such underhanded messages attached to them. And why are all or most of the songs with positive or dare I say it inspirational messages shelved and hardly ever played on Top 40 radio????

I guess it is just an on to the next society that we live in.

Leaving

2011-03-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

So if someone is clearly not feeling you please move on. I mean it is a hard thing to do but we must move on. I mean it hurts so much because all you want that person to do is simply love/ or feel the way we do. But a lot of times that doesn't happen. Usually there is one person that is heavily into the relationship and the other is half way there.

Instead of this person being upfront about things and expressing how they truly feel, they stay for the convenient of the relationship until something more new and shiner comes along. I feel that we as humans have a natural defense mechanism against being alone. This tends to happen more often with people who have been hurt a great deal emotionally in the past.

Because of this we tend to stay in these relationships while being unfulfilled and hurt others. Please stop doing this and stay true to yourselves. If he treats you like trash and you know it. LEAVE!!!! You deserve better. You might be alone for a while but trust me you;ll thank yourself for this in the long run.

Taking Care

2011-02-23T20:15:00.000-08:00

I feel it is soooo extremely important in this life for one to take care of themselves. I mean it's essential. The reason I feel this way or express this notion is because everyone else takes care of themselves before they think of you, so FUCK it!!!!!! Look out for you.

Now don't get me wrong this doesn't mean you need to go out and not give a damn about others feelings and/or ego's but make sure you're not putting yourself last in any equations. Some of us in this world are givers, others are takers. And while it is a good deed to give, that doesn't mean you are to give your last to someone else or put yourself in a situation where you are always the giver. It would be wise to learn this extremely important lesson from this post. I know some won't and they will be forced to learn the hard way but all in all heed my warnings.

Taking care of yourself is a very good thing. Some people have a notion that actually catering to yourself is a negative or selfish thing. I used to be one of these people but now my outlook on things has changed dramatically. No one is really looking out for you in this world but you. You and only you, and the sooner you digest that, the better.

Random#3

2011-02-16T09:14:00.000-08:00

I know, it's been a while guys!!!!

It's funny how life has to take you through certain things in order to make you understand how this life works. From birth we sled into earth thinking we have the answers to life even though it is just something we live. Why do we then think we can control it in a certain way and then cry when the unexpexted happens? Have goals have aspirations, but don't be too disappointed when all cannot come true in a day. Keep them in mind and finish them later. :)

Jam of the Moment!!!!!! #3

2010-12-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

XOXOXO

This song is everything and one of few highlights on the B.E.P.'s latest album entitled "The Beginning." The album debuted at a stunning 6th place on the Billboard charts this week, while Katy Perry has her 3rd straight #1 off of her smash album"Teenage Dream."

So this is a great week for Katy and only a so-so week for B.E.P. Hopefully this song which is also my personal Jam of the Week can rebound their disappointing first week sales. I have heard rumblings that this will be the second single off the disc so hopefully this will help. The reason I feel this album is doing so poorly (which has been stated over and over again) is the fact that Fergie, really the voice behind the group seems to be missing.

For the most part, she is NOT on the CD. I always wonder why artist tend to do this type of thing after they have hugely successful albums. They tend to try to change what seems to be a winning formula. I will NEVER understand it at all. To go from an album that was grammy recognized and produced 3 #1 singles to this is just unacceptable. This album sounds unauthentic as a B.E.P. album because Will.I.am seems to be trying to hog the spotlight. It's just a mess as a whole!!!!!!

But there are some great songs on it, just like my jam of the moment. Enjoy!!!!!!

Weekend Box Office

2010-12-06T05:08:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well, looks like someone finally overcame Harry Potter

1. Tangled, $21.5 million
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, $16.7 million
3. Burlesque, $6.1 million (tie)
3. Unstoppable, $6.1 million (tie)
5. Love and Other Drugs, $5.7 million
6. Megamind, $5 million
7. Due Date, $4.2 million
8. Faster, $3.8 million
9. The Warrior's Way, $3.1 million
10. The Next Three Days, $2.7 million

Jam of the Moment!!!!!! #2

2010-12-03T12:39:00.000-08:00

FAMOUS

Extracted from her latest CD entitled "Love me back" Jazmine really brought it with this ya'll. I think I am so extremely drawn to this track because it is soooo haunting in a way!! And her voice is only laced with a hurt that is not heard anywhere else on this album. I don't know why but this song just sticks out to me for some odd reason. Make sure you guys go get that album it is so strong even though most may agree that it is NOT as soulful as her debut

World AIDS Day!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-01T09:50:00.000-08:00

AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome) is the final stage of HIV disease, which causes severe damage to the immune system.

Important facts about the spread of AIDS include:

AIDS is the sixth leading cause of death among people ages 25 - 44 in the United States, down from number one in 1995.
The World Health Organization estimates that more than 25 million people worldwide have died from this infection since the start of the epidemic
In 2008, there were approximately 33.4 million people around the world living with HIV/AIDS, including 2.1 million children under age 15.

Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) causes AIDS. The virus attacks the immune system and leaves the body vulnerable to a variety of life-threatening infections and cancers.

Common bacteria, yeast, parasites, and viruses that ordinarily do not cause serious disease in people with healthy immune systems can cause fatal illnesses in people with AIDS.

HIV has been found in saliva, tears, nervous system tissue and spinal fluid, blood, semen (including pre-seminal fluid, which is the liquid that comes out before ejaculation), vaginal fluid, and breast milk. However, only blood, semen, vaginal secretions, and breast milk generally transmit infection to others.

The virus can be spread (transmitted):

Through sexual contact -- including oral, vaginal, and anal sex
Through blood -- via blood transfusions (now extremely rare in the U.S.) or needle sharing
From mother to child -- a pregnant woman can transmit the virus to her fetus through their shared blood circulation, or a nursing mother can transmit it to her baby in her breast milk

HIV infection is NOT spread by:

Casual contact such as hugging
Mosquitoes
Participation in sports
Touching items previously touched by a person infected with the virus

People with AIDS have had their immune system damaged by HIV and are very susceptible to these opportunistic infections. Common symptoms are:

Chills
Fevers
Sweats (particularly at night)
Swollen lymph glands
Weakness
Weight loss

Note: Initial infection with HIV may produce no symptoms. Some people, however, do experience flu-like symptoms with fever, rash, sore throat, and swollen lymph nodes, usually 2 - 4 weeks after contracting the virus. Some people with HIV infection stay symptom-free for years between the time they are exposed to the virus and when they develop AIDS.

Get the facts and LIVE life!!!!!!!

Essay provided by the New York Times written by: By ABIGAIL ZUGER, M.D.

Check here for the entire Essay

Random!!!!! #2

2010-12-01T09:45:00.000-08:00

How appropriate on this day
the rains came
Washing the pain away
See this day reminds me of several things
Of regret for getting so caught up in heated passion the latex never mattered
Of pain where the doctor tells you, you're a positive person
Well if I'm so positive, why do I feel so negative

Random!!!!!

2010-11-24T07:08:00.000-08:00

I am searching for something that is not necessarily there.
Going out constantly, going out on a tear.
Searching for the special something here, there, and everywhere.
Sometimes when I find it, it causes a scare that now makes me aware of the dare
so now I let it come
Come to me
In a more natural form just letting it be,
Me O my Lord have mercy, I have seen some sights unseen
While I was busy exploring this evergreen.

THIS is XTINA!!!!!!

2010-11-24T06:10:00.001-08:00

This is the Christina Aguilera I know and LIVE for!!!!! UGH!!!! She gave you everything you needed in these two performances OMG!!!!!! And I am so excited because she is giving you PROMO DOWN!!!!!!!! for Burlesque!!! XTINA is back and better than ever, for her to give us this type of performance on prime time television is most certainly a step in the right direction.

Christina Show me how you Burlesque and Beautiful

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Nicki Minaj!!!!!!! Interview Ripping Lil Kim"

2010-11-23T12:01:00.000-08:00

OMG this is a real ass interview!!!!!!

My FAV AMA Performances from tonight

2010-11-21T21:49:00.000-08:00

Christina

Rihanna

Pink!!!

Katy Perry

Diddy Dirty Money

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Taylor Swift

Burlesque PROMO DOWN!!!!!

2010-11-21T07:40:00.000-08:00

Christina SMASHES this on Ellen

Christina on Jay Leno

2010-11-18T13:45:00.000-08:00

Burlesque Promo continues!!!!!

Interview

Performance of Bound to You the "Big ballad" on the soundtrack

Christina Has a Star on the Walk of FAME!!!!!!!

2010-11-18T06:28:00.000-08:00

YESSSSSSSS, everyone who knows me knows that she is my fav!!!! OMG I am so happy for her at the moment, on the heels of Burlesque her first feature film she is receiving this great honor!!!!

Oh and I saw Burlesque yesterday at a free screening and it was sooo good! I am so happy to see that she is back and even dancing in heels no doubt. I am excited!! We also received word that she is already recording her next full length album.

Hot VIDS!!!!!

2010-11-14T12:49:00.000-08:00

the #1 song in America, "What's my Name"

Keri Hilson- Pretty Girl Rock

Katy Perry Firework LEAK!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-28T10:00:00.001-07:00

New Vid!!!!! one of my FAV songs at the moment from one of my FAV girls

MARIAH!!!!

2010-10-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

Soooooo Mariah Carey has finally announced today that she is pregnant. I am soooooo happy that this is finally out because really Mariah it was getting kind of on the ridiculous side. But just an FYI on most people's parts, Mariah had a miscarriage before and that is one of or even the main reason why she took so long to disclose such information. She was pregnant when the couple got married back in 2008 but she lost the baby. So that must have been a really hard thing to deal with especially with all of the promotion and other business endeavors she pursues. Check this video for her confession and explanation.

and P.S. Beyonce is NOT pregnant!!!! LOL Ooooops

NEW page!!!!

2010-10-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

I feel I am in a new chapter in my life in many ways. The funny thing is nothing about where I am is specific. I mean at times I feel I am everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Can any one of you relate to this feeling? I just feel that I should be a certain way but then I feel like I want to be another way. There are two sides of me fighting with one another in a constant battle of my personality.

I have also started to go down a very dangerous road. A road of which I do not like to travel often in this life. This is the road of the why's. The road where you are constantly comparing yourself to others and making a bigger deal out of things then you need to. A road where you are wondering constantly and always lost in some kind of way. In some aspects of my daily life I feel myself slipping into this mentality more and more and it is not a good thing for me to do at this point. I feel it is imperative for me to stay focused as an individual and worry about myself.

So I will do this even though some or most things in this life are not fair. But hey, that's the way the stale cookie crumbles at times :)

My girl is coming back!!!!!

2010-10-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

OMG my girl Duffy is coming back with a brand new album entitled "Endlessly"!!!! Yeah baby, I am soooooo excited at this moment in time. If you've never heard of her she is from the UK and she is such a great songstress!!!! Her 2008 hit, Mercy topped the charts in many countries around the world, you can check that out here:

Did you like that????? Great now we can all move on to her new single entitled, "Well Well Well"

Jam of the Moment!!!!!! (New Weekly Post)

2010-10-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

WHAT'S MY NAME

Set to be on the singer's 5th LP entitled "LOUD" Rihanna really turns up the heat on this one. I am living for this song at the moment as it sits atop my groove play list on my I-pod.....The song is very danceable and features rapper Drake.....I don't care what anyone says but Rihanna's vocals are becoming more solid ever since her last effort Rated R!!!!! Hopefully LOUD will give us more great music to listen to. It will be in stores Nov.16th Check out the song clip below.

It has FINALLY happened!!!!!!

2010-10-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

Singer, songwriter and actress Beyonce Knowles is finally pregnant with her and Jay Z's first child. OMG this is something I have been waiting for since she married rap legend Jay-Z in April of 2008. I just knew it was just a matter of time when they married that something of this magnitude would take place. It was reported today in the morning hours. It is believed that sources from Us Magazine have the official scoop as to Ms. Knowles current condition as she is believed to be in her first trimester.

I think congrats are in order for the lucky couple :))))))))))

TREVOR!!!!

2010-10-19T03:25:00.000-07:00

this is the very short film that inspired the Trevor project which is stepping in to curve the teenage suicides that are happening among the LGBT youth.

Be Proud!!!!!!

2010-10-18T05:29:00.000-07:00

This month is National LGBT History month. We all in the communtiy need to celebrate, rejoice and ban together in our struggle for equality in this nation.

Be proud of who you are as a person. Don't worry about what people say about you because of who you choose to love. No let's get something straight at this moment. The choice is in physically loving the same gender. We all have friends who try to deny their sexual urges and refuse to partake in any sexual act with the same gender. There is NOT!!!! a choice in loving the same gender emotionally. I personally feel this is the difference between being gay and being trendy. Yes it is sad to say that some people claim to be gay because it is the "cool" thing to do.

Most people that are actually gay understand what a struggle it is to be that way. A person can receive much flak for being "different" in a society that being "normal" is considered the right way to function. Anything that is different is considered evil or unusual.

No one would choose to be GAY!!!!!! My people that are in the continuous struggle understand what i mean when I say this. That is why we get so up in arms when someone (especially someone who is NOT gay says rather casually) that being gay is a choice. If you lived one day in my bruised shoes you would think differently almost immediately.

Although I was teased frequently in my school I would never wish to not be this way because being this way is a part of who I am as a person. If I am fine with it then why is the world so upset about me being this way. I mean it is not as though I am doing harm to anyone else by being this way. And since I am doing something that is so dangerous and harmful to myself why is everyone hell bent on making me change? One would think they would try and stay away from me instead of trying to force me to change against my will.

Be PROUD of who you are as a person because that is who you truly are. It doesn't matter what others have to say about you as long as they aren't harming you in any physical way then you're good and if they are, seek help from the proper people. If that doesn't work whether it be in a school or other establishment tell your parent or legal guardian.

It does really get better, choose to live instead of dying and helping the negative individuals in this screwed up society win. No one can live your life but you. So live it and celebrate this month for it and every other day in the year is truly for us

Go See This!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-18T04:43:00.000-07:00

"Waiting for Superman" is a documentary that showcases area school children in their quest to learn and have the opportunity to go to better schools to better their education. It is important for us to look at films of this nature in order for kids to have a better education. I know at least in the Washington D.C. area we like to sweep issues like this under the rug and avoid them instead of looking at the problems and fixing them.

LIFE!!!!!

2010-10-12T06:14:00.000-07:00

Don't let life get you too down, just turn around and smile
When the walls come tumbling down
run for the shelter, don't stop and allow yourself to hit the ground.

Just a start of a poem I am starting to work on at the moment. I mean wow I have been gone for quite a minute haven't I? I mean life throws things at you that can be such an obstacle. Some things become obstacles because we make them. That is what I have been doing in my life and I just refuse to do it any longer. I realize now that I don't need to be dwelling on the little things because life itself is sooooo much bigger. So here's to living life and smiling to the fullest.

Love the Way you Lie (Video Premiere)

2010-08-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

Eminem and Rihanna's new Collab!!!!

Janelle Monae Video Premiere!!!!!!!

2010-08-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

COLD WAR video premiere

Christina Aguilera You Lost Me Video Premiere

2010-07-22T19:13:00.001-07:00

My girl's second video!!!!!

LOVE IT Nicki Minaj Your Love Video Premiere

2010-07-21T05:39:00.000-07:00

OMG this is ONLY my favorite song at the moment.......

Nicki Minaj - New Music - More Music Videos

When will we learn

2010-07-20T19:14:00.000-07:00

this is sooooo sad just everything about it

SING CHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

OMG this is this black girl from Glee her name is Amber she is amazing!!!!!!!! I have been not skeptical of her but of some others from the Glee cast. I wondered if they could actually sing the way they do on the show. One thing is for sure we KNOW this girl can blow!!!! Check out this video of her singing the national anthem!!!!!

Set in Their Ways

2010-07-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

Older men are usually set in their ways, meaning they already feel that they know themselves so it is utterly impossible they can be taught anything from anyone, especially a younger person. This is something I have heard and my own personal belief. Many of my personal experiences have proven this notion aka my theory to be true.

The ones that you cannot tell a DAMN thing too no matter what are a trip. This type of guy is so frustrating to date because he can be the biggest know it all in the entire world. I hate being corrected in a way that makes me feel dumb. And also I HATE to be corrected about everything almost implying I know nothing. Now this could be me showing how green I am or it could be the flat out truth. I also mainly get the older gentlemen who think they are smarter than I am. This means they feel they can say anything or do anything to me and I am supposed to be alright with it because they are older.

First of all I would LOVE to know where this most insane notion comes from? I mean in my experiences older men have tried to control me for the most part. This can be incredibly frustrating because I am not a puppet and these experiences have made me a harder person to date. (Yeah I admit it I have changed, and it's all your fault) To the point that when someone is being nice to me, I have a hard time knowing if they are truly being genuine.

*SideBar*

I have experienced nothing but the moody older man that barely has his own life together. The one that has spent the majority of his life partying. Or the one that has let the lifestyle get to him soooo much that he is now too emotionally fragile to go on. You can imagine my envy when I talk to friends and they get the other side of this spectrum. Meaning the older guy who has his shit together and can take care of himself and has a decent apartment or even house and maybe a car. The guy that is actually mature instead of the one that thinks he is only because of his age. I tend to get babies who need to be passivized or wiped!!!! OFTEN!!!!! Now I am not a gold digger I DO NOT want or need your money, but be able to take me out on a date and please don't ask for money then never pay it back. My whole thing is if your so big and bad, why can't you pay for your own shit?

*End Sidebar*

They say one is never too old to learn a few new tricks but all of the guys I have dated seem to be just set in their ways. Not trying to be flexible and see things in a different light. They want to override the things I know with their own knowledge instead of teaching me they try to mold me into what they want me to be for them. Instead of broadening my sense of self they confuse me even more.

Have you guys experienced the same types of things or something different?

closure!!!!!!

2010-07-09T15:32:00.000-07:00

I have been dealing with this gentlemen for about two years at this point. I mean at first (as it always starts out) everything was great. I mean we had great talks and he is a good person overall but after a some time and some self growing I realized; this nigga is the same as all the rest. But his speciality is he is a wordsmith. He is one of those slick talkers that will have you believing shit that did not happen.

He also lives in a world of double standards one thing I REFUSE to live in. I mean he talks about forgiveness yet throws something I did in the past (that he claims he forgave me for) in my face in a sad attempt to win an argument. I mean talk about an oxymoron. LOL!!!!!! But he makes me think and I feel I grow when I am around him but I also feel he has more shit with him than a fucking cow. Mmmmoooooooo bitch!!!!!! LOL!!!!!

Perfect example, how are you going to ask me where your birthday present is when you did NOT get me a present and even worse did not even remember my birthday? How is that possible when our birthdays are three weeks apart? Then go on to say if I put money in your card I don't have to get you a present. Firstly, I DON'T have to get your ass anything at all I am just being thoughtful (something you were NOT) on my b-day.

Mind you these are just recent examples of the contradictory lifestyle this individual lives on a daily basis. Well I for one am over the bullshit that is constantly shoved down my emotional coffin. Today the coffin is closed and so is my heart!!!!! Well at least from him anyway :)

Busting the Windows to My Sanity

2010-07-07T13:31:00.000-07:00

Hey guys i know i missed yesterday!!!! LOL Ooooops anyway here is a quick poem that i wrote a while ago

I bust the windows out your car

Because of the five years of struggle you put me through

A struggle that only ended in my heart being dismantled

From the constant battle I had of trying to make you love me

I bust the windows out your car

And I know It didn’t mend my broken heart

But it helped me play the part

Of the animal you created

5 years of damage that you caused to my being

Turned me into a woman who never wanted to let another man in

My heart wanted to go wither and die

You told me you loved me but your actions said something else

So I busted those windows out your car

Because I knew you always loved it more then you ever loved me

But not more than you loved her

Your newness, your trophy

you always put her in front of me but I never noticed

How you warmly greeted me at the front door

After just showing her out the back

When you lied constantly and showed little interest

I was content to stay and make it work

The way a real woman would

But that day when I walked into my house and saw her there

I knew it was over because my soul finally took a bigger beating then my pride ever could

So I bust the windows out your car

Because I had to leave a mark that said something

You could never feel what I felt that day unless

I busted those windows out your car

I hope she was worth it

You tried to destroy me as a person and almost succeeded

Even though what you did to me was much worst I had to do something to make it hurt

I bust the windows out your car

Because of all the dinners you missed

I bust the windows out your car

Because you let her take my place

Came into the bedroom and she was in my space

I bust the windows out your car

You should feel lucky that that’s all I did

You really hurt me babe you really

Really really hurt me babe

By: Joaquin M. Turley, Jr.

Unbothered!!!!!!!

2010-07-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

I mean WTF I don't get it!!!! If I don't want to be bothered with you then I don't want to be bothered with you!!!!! Why is that so hard for some individuals to understand!!! I mean I this life we live in can be cruel but hey, get over it. I have had to get over my heart being splattered on the floor several times and I am still surviving. I mean the thing is this guy and I never even really got into anything that complicated or serious. Just went out on a few dates that was all.

Just when he was starting to grow on me he turned into this overbearing creature that I did not like at all. I mean he was loving and all at first but then he became crazy and obsessed with me. Telling me he was coming to my job to do all of this non-sense. I told him to lose my number the first time (you see I said the first time) he told me no!!!!! Can you believe that??? He told me that he was NOT going to lose my number OMG a mess right??? I know!!!!

So then he would try to play these mind games with me. Like one day he would call or text and be sweet then the next act like a complete asshole. I mean he was so wishy-washy and I just refused to take it anymore. I had to literally step out of my character and curse his ass OUT!!!! A few times in order to get my point across that I DO NOT repeat, DO NOT want to be bothered with him and his issues.

I have enough on my plate at the moment to be worrying about some dude. I am better than that. In my years of dating I have never encountered anything like this.

Soul Searching!!!

2010-07-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

So I am soul searching at the moment. Searching for certain answers to questions that linger in my mind. I mean questions that plauge me, almost haunting my existence. They say you tend to attract certain types of people because of who you are and that this is a reflection of you. So I am desperately trying to look within to see why it is that I attract the people that I do.

Now this is not saying that I tend to attract necessarily bad people. But I am interested to know why I attract the type that loves to just lie to me. That is a common trend among the encounters I have had in this gay lifestyle. So I am stuck searching for answers like is it the lifestyle, me or something else?

I don't know if this means I tend to ask for too much or could it mean that I am sending some lie to me signal off into the universe? Perhaps I want too much out of my relationships? I feel wanting to have an open, honest relationship is not too much to ask. Maybe it is too much to ask of the lifestyle I am living in. I mean I can count on one hand how many relationships I know of that have survived this lifestyle for an extended period of time.

Life tends to confuse me because it seems the most simple things in life are the hardest to attain for some reason within relationships. In my experiences people tend to make things more complicated then they generally have to be. So I am just stuck soul searching now. Caught in between why and how. I feel if you want to be with a person you should just be able to be with them. What is just so hard about that? We as people let worldly obstacles influence and alter some of our decisions. I am not immune to these issue either.

These are just random thoughts that I have in my head. Did any of you have things to add or go through similiar things.

Consistency!!!!!!!!

2010-07-03T16:08:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers and bloggets LOL

I wanted to talk to you guys for a minute about this blog. Firstly, let me start by apologizing because I have slacked so much on this blog. I know I have written this like a million times before, but I will be updating consistently, for now on. This time my perspective is different because I realize that consistency is one of the keys to life.

When I visit other blogs (that I enjoy) and there is nothing new on there, I get upset because i want to read or see something new. Something fresh at least for the day. So I will not let this blog become the blog you visit and expect to see the same thing, or the blog you stop visiting because it is never updated.

For now on there will be at least one new post everyday, that is my promise to you the readers and to myself.

Christina VH1 Storytellers

2010-06-14T19:34:00.001-07:00

YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Part 1

Part 2

CHRISTINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slays On IDOL!!!!!!!!!!! I have no words

2010-05-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! CICI

2010-04-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

Now this is the Ciara I know and Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interchangeably Interchangeable

2010-04-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

Last night I went over this guys house and before anything happened I realized something. Something I did not want to admit to myself for the longest time but now I know is true. We are all interchangeably interchangeable in this life. Meaning when one thing doesn't work we just go to the next. I say this because before we messed around, he told me all of these stories about how he did it to this and that guy almost as if I should have been impressed or worse grateful that he was going to do it to me now.

I mean we are all bodies on this earth that go from host to host taking a chance on them, hoping they will respect us. Hoping they will love us and all. I mean this is just a mess because I used to have a problem with people that got around too much but I am starting to realize that everyone does. I mean weather you're a top or bottom the shit is all the same. I had a discussion with my EX today and he told me he had sex with 24 people in the span of a couple of days. I guess he was really feeling himself in this time period. Well, anyway back to last night. As I was being told the tale of all of these boys I started to wonder, "If I let this nigga hit will I be just another story to put in his sexual portfolio of clients?"

I mean this really made me feel uncomfortable in a way. I grew up with this notion that you find the one that makes you happy and they stay with you and love you until the end. I am trying to figure out if I really was this young and naive in this assumption or has the world just become corrupted? With sex, lies, drugs, and greed to have a list of bodies. I mean I have no idea at this point???? I was also trying to figure out if this dude was just really being honest with me and all but I guess only time will tell!!!

AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION YES!!!!! WE HAD SEX AND IT WAS WORTH IT :)

Listening to: Alicia Keys- Doesn't mean anything From the album : The Element of Freedom

I Live For This!!!!!!!!!

2010-04-11T17:26:00.000-07:00

OMG I was surfing around the Tube of You and I spotted this!!!! I just knew i had to put it on my blog the second I saw it!!!!

It's the group Girlicious shooting their new music video

Is this REALLY Nicki Minaj!!!!!!!

2010-04-07T05:01:00.000-07:00

Ok wow!!!!! This is a clip I saw a while ago that I am very surprised hasn't surfaced since she is getting up there but you be the judge!!!!

Switching the Routine

2010-04-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

You know the extremely interesting thing about working as a temp or for a temporary agency is the connections you form that are bound to be broken once an assignment is over. I have been working this job for about four months now and it has been great!!!! Now I am fortunately one of the lucky ones that gets to stay!!! Yay!!!! So I will most likely have a job through the summer!!!! This feels so so so exhilarating because I really want and need to grow as an individual this summer. I mean it is finally time for me to put my tennis racquets down at least for a day or two and live this thing called life!!! I don't want my life to be consumed by any one thing this summer as it has been in the past. I would like to get up and go to school and work and really live (and also get my drivers license HELLO!!!!!). I don't think some of my friends understand me when I say things like this because they have already been doing it for so long.

You have to understand what I have done with my life to understand my need to breakaway from this constant routine. Don't get me wrong I enjoy routines immensely and love to find new ways to do the same things but it is time for a chance within my personal life. Every summer I am consumed with playing tennis and working at a tennis shop!!! You see what I am mean I have no outlet!!!! No time to just LIVE that will all change this summer!!!!

CHRISTINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-04-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

I'm READY to get BIONIC ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have You Ever

2010-03-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been at a place in your life where you are just sublimely happy? I mean really really, happy!!!! I am kind of at that place at the moment as far as my life is concerned. I finally have a job that deals with something besides tennis. I think because of this I am missing the sport a little bit more and that is a very good thing because this absence is making me want to go back and play. But, anyway I am loving life at the moment. My job is something that I like and also easy to do, now my love life on the other hand is something all together different.

I am in a very weird place at the moment in my love life. A place I never thought I'd be. I just wanna Fu*k. I mean really, at the moment I don't want your emotions or your problems. I just want you to cum over whip it out make love to me and then leave. You're not allowed to stay and cuddle at all because then I would start to develop some feelings. But at the same time I do not want to be treated like anything as well and just because I want to Fu*k doesn't mean I will accept anything either. I mean I will still have standards even in a whore phase. Is this it??? Am I finally going to get into this whore phase that almost everyone I know has had except me? Stay tuned to find out!!!!!

Chirstina A. IS BACK!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-27T06:50:00.000-07:00

My Musical Savior is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-26T07:07:00.001-07:00

I could SH*T on myself this album is going to be everything and more!!!!!!!!!

Did Ya'll See This!!!!!

2010-03-09T03:15:00.000-08:00

This is what Happens when you run your mouth for no reason....

Monique DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-09T02:59:00.001-08:00

OMG I am sooo late with this post but whatever, I mean I am just so happy with this Oscar. I have not seen The Hurt Locker so I cannot yet truly pass an accurate judgment on if it should have dominated the way it did. Anyway I digress because Monique the fun loving comedian that everyone just loves has won her first Oscar for her role in "Precious!!" She was truly dynamic and she deserves it. here are some clips of her acceptance speech and her backstage in the press room.

I Just Miss Him!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-05T06:30:00.000-08:00

Ok so I am getting over a breakup and it has been harder than I thought. I mean I miss this boy a lot. At first I didn't want to admit it but I cannot lie to myself anymore. I mean damn he hit me hard (In more ways than one) LOL but we had a great connection at times. This at times was the problem though because most of the other times we were fighting or on two different planes or at least this is how it seemed to me. I mean we had a type of passion that was great but I just couldn't handle the lies and trickery he kept trying to pull over my eyes. He strikes me as a have his cake and eat it too type and plus he had WAAAAYYYYYY too much drama with him. I mean I live a DRAMA FREE existence. But I still miss the little things about him. The way his tongue hung out of his mouth when he slept or was bored. The way he held me at night and he used to make my bed when we would just be chilling in it. I always thought that was soooo sweet. I mean it just hurts because I always think of what we could have been but know we will most likely never be that.

Anything like this ever happen to you and if so, how did you get over it???

MARCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

2010-03-05T06:27:00.000-08:00

Ok first of all I cannot believe that it is March already!!!! OMG this is a mess truly!!!!!! WOW where is this year going man. I mean time thing is really getting out of hand. SHooooooooooooot!!!! Hope all of you guys have been having a productive year at this point. Live life don't let it get you too down. Just live and everything will start to come around.

My thanksgiving

2009-11-28T09:11:00.000-08:00

Wow, I had a GREAT thanksgiving meal. I mean awesome, I had two plates of deliciousness and it went down just fine. LOL!!! Ok, I was messing them plates up. But it was a great day because for the first time in a while my family was together. This was such a miraculous event because we are a family of individuals instead of an actual family. So it is always so refreshing to see everyone together for the most part and this only really happens during the holiday season.

So this is what I was most thankful for. The chance to see familiar faces that were starting to become unrecognizable during the year. And we had it at my grandmother's house for the first time in about five years.

I was so thankful we had it at my grandmothers house. For the last couple of years, we(My mother and I) have done it where ever we have lived. And while it was always successful it just wasn't the same feeling. Usually before we started this new tradition, everything during the holiday season was always held at my grandmother's house. It was always soo powerful for me because it was the one place where all of the family got together, so it was a welcomed return. Hopefully Christmas will turn out the exact same way :) fingers crossed!!!!

What were you most thankful for this year????

OMG I'm Back

2009-11-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, guys I have been so swoomped with LIFE. I am guessing you know how that can be at times!!!! LOL But I am starting a new exciting chapter in my life. I got a job thanks to the wonderful temp agency I am working with, and I started yesterday. It was so nice because I have been waiting to get a retail job because I think it will help me with interacting with people on a more regular basis.

So I am excited and it is really cool. I hope you guys are having a great holiday season and enjoy the read.

Ms. Ella Ella Returns

2009-10-20T15:28:00.000-07:00

Well Well Well Miss Rihanna has returned to the music scene today. The pop diva songstress proclaimed that the wait would be over today it is was most certainly was when she premiered her new single, "Russian Roulette." Her new album is called Rated-R!!!!! I am so happy that kept this title because I think it is just tooo fierce..

Well her new single is a slow track which I have to sat I wasn't expecting at all. The haters and Stans of a certain Self-Proclaimed Queen of R&B can say what they want. This track is hot. I mean it has everything you need in a single great lyrics strong vocals (Are you Kidding from Rhi Rhi???) Yes I said strong vocals, a great bed and beautiful production. Now people are getting into a frenzy because she did not release an uptempo track and while I was caught off guard by this I don't see the problem with it.

Our society has forgotten about the Ballad!!!! It frustrates me because Ballads put everything into a different perspective and gives the listener more of an insight than an uptempo track ever could. So this song will be a hit because it is also extremely radio friendly and a solid song. Mix that with Rihanna's promotional team and it's a wrap!!!!!

here is the new song

He Didn't Get It

2009-10-20T15:23:00.000-07:00

Why are my feelings only important when I am ready to leave
Why is it that when I am armored you see me clearly
But when I appear naked you walk through me
Blind to the fact that I indeed exist
You were supposed to see me on that day
I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I was a Bitch!!!
When I cast you aside you tried to be beside me
But now that I am in your presence you are unaware of my existence
Why can’t you realize I am here when I truly am
Instead of realizing it when you only have a piece of me
You must not want all of me, you must just want half
But I don’t want you to want me in that half-committed state
Because that is such a lonely road, an empty path
Filled with the thorns of a cast of emotions I never dealt with in the past
Coming in and out of my life
Slowly draining the blood from my body as they prick my skin
One by One until I fall in a lovers field gasping for air
Our love takes its last breath
Signaling the end of us
My pieces have been shattered to a crucial point
Broken in my hope for a brighter tomorrow
Because today you didn’t get that I loved you when I tried

2009-10-17T10:30:00.001-07:00

Ok so here FINALLY is the new video from Mrs. Leona herself for her first single titled "Happy" off of her upcoming album Echo.....

The Queen of the Bridge

2009-10-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

I swear Lady Gaga is the queen of the bridge.....All of her bridges and transitions within her songs are remarkable...I mean really, I was on Youtube and saw the finished version of her song "Bad Romance" that will be appearing on the re-release of her quadruple platinum debut "The Fame" which is retitled, "The Fame: Monster" Listen to this amazing song and then get into the bridge, I swear she is the QUEEN OF THE BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can Anyone Say Underrated???!!!!!

2009-10-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

OMG Jordin Sparks has got to be one of the most underrated pop singers and American-Idol winners that has come off of the show. I mean gosh this girl sings her butt off and has so much vocal versatility that it is so sick!!!! Check out this video of her singing S.O.S. and if you do not have her Awesome Sophomore effort "Battlefield" I suggest you hope on the Jordin train

New Videos

2009-10-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

Below are fresh videos from some of my favorite artists that I love, I hope you enjoy them :)

John Mayer--Who Says

Daughtry--Life After You

Black Eyed Peas--Meet Me Half Way

Alexandra is Coming

2009-10-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Here is a performance on X-Factor that she recently did of her single "Bad Boys"

What ya think???

National Poetry day

2009-10-08T13:24:00.000-07:00

I started writing actual poems not too long ago and it has been one of the best things I could have possibly done for myself. I mean I was a constant journal writer and I always would write these long entrees about how my entire day went. After a while I was trying to find a way to relay my feelings and not take all day. So I started to write poems and it was awesome. At first, I was just writing random things, but now I feel I can express myself so much better as a person because of my poetry writing. So here's to you poetry, thank you for letting me paint on an empty canvas.

In honor of National Poetry Day I will give you this poem!!!!!! YAY!!!!

Title: Blowing By

Wind…..Wind….. Flowing through my hair
As aggressively as an angry cab driver seeking his unpaid fare
Rushing, Whipping, going on a tear
To hide this child’s despair
See most people looking from the outside don’t care
About the life changing burden this child must bare
However strange, However Uncommon, However rare
Is the burden this child must now bare
The wind knows about this burden and says to the child “do not fear”
“I am here to blow away your problem, I am here”
But the frightened child by this point was too afraid to hear
The call from the wind
So stuck as if the child were a meek dear
Caught in the bright headlights of life
The call from the wind to the child seemed so unclear
It informed the child of the future which would soon be near
The wind blew and blew with all its power
To solve the child’s problem within the hour
But it could not succeed because the burden still seemed to somehow tower
Over the child’s mind always reaching higher
And once the wind realized the burden was too big to defeat on this day
The wind eventually blew away
Tumbling in the fields with the bundles of hay
Leaving the child with this earth shattering burden
Leaving the child’s heart in utter dismay

OH NO!!!!!! Not BEN :(

2009-10-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

A co-founder and business mastermind behind the world renowned Ben’s Chili Bowl, a critical and fan favorite has passed. Ben Ali crossed over on Wednesday evening at the age of 82. Ben’s is a cultural staple for the U street community and tourists that visit the Washington D.C. area. Over the years, Ben’s great tasting chili dogs and cheese drenched fries have attracted some of the biggest names in the African-American community, including Bill Cosby and Barak Obama. Ali is survived by his wife Virginia and his two sons Kamal and Nizam, who still run the restaurant today. Ben’s is the only business that survived the devastating 1960 riots and is still a popular venue today.

Below are more pictures of the historic venue, the people who loved it and the food that is served

*All pictures provided by google images*

A Life of Labels

2009-10-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

I am doing a lot of self reflection these days. I don't know, I am just all out of sorts because of personal things I am going through but this is neither here nor there. I was wondering certain things about myself.

Like:

Why do I feel ashamed of being gay sometimes?
Why am I sooo afraid to stare at men when I am in public.
Why am I afraid when men look at me?
Who am I as a gay individual within this society?
Why do I try to put labels on everything?

See one of my biggest problems is I always put labels on everything in this life. I think I do this because it is what is fed to us in this society because if we really think about it, we all put labels on things. But I struggle especially because I have the feeling that I need to classify myself within this crazy world of labels. So I find myself always trying to figure myself out instead of just living life. I do not have a set style or look I can claim nor do I want one. I like being the way I am on any given day. Some days I feel chill others I feel really masculine and others feminine. So this problem stems from my every-changing personality, because my personality is so layered labeling myself is so complicated

I don't know you guys, I have come to the conclusion that I need to just live life rather than labeling it. So this is what I will do in the future....

Leona Lewis Album Cover

2009-10-06T19:57:00.001-07:00

Ok here is the album cover for Leona Lewis new album cover!!!!!!!

I like it but they could have done better, what you think???

Lady Gaga Before she was Lady Gaga

2009-10-06T19:53:00.000-07:00

OMG so I was visiting a great blog today and it had this clip of the MTV show Boiling Points on it......You remember that show don't ya....Well Lady Gaga was on it....You have to check this out...

MTV Shows

Hilarious Right??????

BRANDY SINGING HER FACE

2009-10-04T21:14:00.000-07:00

Someone please tell me why she does not have a label and why her last two records which were both critically acclaimed flopped in public opinion

Someone at the bottom of this post made a really dumbass comment,

"well she is black so she over sings "
This proves that small minded people still exist in this world

Understanding the Memoirs of Mimi

2009-10-04T12:54:00.000-07:00

The legend that has sung the songs cherished by millions over the years is back with a new sound and perspective on life. Now married to Nick Cannon, Mariah Carey seems more relaxed and ready to go after her last commercially disappointing effort “E=MC2.” On a recent appearance on BET’s 106 and Park Carey stated, “I have too many tracks for the album so that’s my dilemma, my cross to bear.” Now the wait for Mariah Carey’s twelfth studio album entitled “Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel” that was initially pushed back an entire month is over.

Carey is making sure this album is a success for her fans. The usual cd booklet that accompanies the album is actually a magazine like spread with photos of the diva, known for singing big ballads, over the years. There is also a box set that comes with the deluxe edition which has Carey’s autograph and MP3 download of the album along with the actual disc.

The first hit that turned into yet another top ten single for Carey, “Obsessed”, showed us another side of Carey’s ever growing repertoire. She even put a little auto-tune stank on the track for her fans. Not to worry if this song was not a favorite, it is the only one on the album like it. There is little to no auto-tune throughout the rest of the disc. Still this was just a glimpse of what was to come on this ever-changing record.

The album itself is a mesmerizing mix of beautiful vocals, angelic melodies and 808 beats that all bring the memoirs together. Carey still draws from prior experiences of heartache to write her records but now uses her friend’s stories of pain within relationships on her records since she is in a happy place. These stories have morphed into songs like H.A.T.E. U which stands for "Having A Typical Emotional Upset" and Angels Cry. These are the most emotional songs on the album and also fall under the big ballad criteria for which Carey’s legend is known. In H.A.T.E. U Carey’s voice flows gently over the Dreams’ production as she sings “I can't wait to hate you, make you, pay like I do, still can't shake you off. I can't wait to break through, these emotional changes, seems like such a lost cause.” Add a couple of high notes and this song bring a tear.

This album is a musical journey that most will not want to get off because it is so well crafted. Upon the first listen it is obvious Carey carefully pieced together a record that is also assured of being a hit. Every type of song flows into one another from the upbeat tracks to the mid tempos.

This album is the perfect reminder of why Carey’s career is so illustrious in the first place. This album shows how versatile of a singer/songwriter she is and lets her fans know she is still one of the best after almost twenty years of hits. The women in the industry that want to be around for a while need to take notes from Carey because she proves hard work, talent and most of all originality equals staying power.

Images Fade While Deeds Stay

2009-10-04T12:51:00.000-07:00

Why must we live in a world where we are constantly judged by everything we do? Where did we get these screwed up mentality that image is everything and character is apparently nothing? Most of us have this insane idea that we must look a certain way in order to do certain things and fit in certain social circles. So most of us run out and try to get the materials in order to “fit in” with what the masses tell us is cool. The biggest problem with this mentality is individuals who do not have the means to acquire these garments are automatically deemed not cool. Why does this obsession with appearance cause us to judge others so harshly?

One of the funniest quotes I hear all the time is, “I’m doing me.” Obviously some people are too busy judging others to participate in anything productive and I for one am sick of it. As soon as an individual is different in a crowd of what is defined as normal, they are labeled an outcast. Why is this so prevalent in our culture? Too many people are worried about others instead of themselves and what we don’t realize is how our judgments affect others.

Some may be tough in the daylight but they cry the tears that can only be hidden by the night. I wish people would let other people live their lives and stop examining every little thing as if they were born a detective. The worst part of this situation is the judgments are casted prematurely. Most individuals who are put in societies recycle bin are put their because of their look not because of their character or what they have contributed to society.

When someone who is always “fresh” as we like to call it sees another with old shoes on, a laugh fest commences. Why is this happening in a recession which could turn anyone’s existence upside down? Does it really take a disaster such as this for people to understand that everyone is the same? We are the same as in all of us are human. The worst part is some people still do not understand this most basic principle. We all bleed the same we all cry and have feelings, so why must we judge as if we are different? Just because an individual is better off financially than another doesn’t give them the authority to determine this person’s worth.

When it is all said and done in the end and the fat lady had hollered the last note, no one will remember the shoes we wore or the Gucci bags we rocked. No one will care about the jewelry that was once owned or who had the biggest collection of Louis Vuitton pieces. All of these types of accolades are only trivial things that mean little to others and only the world to the owner. People will remember the warmth of your heart and the grace of your spirit. They’ll remember the way you helped them in there time of need which enabled them not to fall too far beneath the cracks of life. It matters what you did in life so “do you” in a way that means something in this world because when we’re dead our image dies with us.

Life's Storm: Poem

2009-10-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

We once were free to roam the streets as the geeks in high school.
Walking in sunlight with the wind at our backs.
But somewhere between now and then, the sunlight faded and the wind turned into a storm that poured over our existence.
We now live in the shadows created by the aftermath the storm left behind.
Where the human eye cannot see because no one cares to look hard enough.
We have become transparent in the worlds view.
So we are forced to sit in a most uncomfortable seat.
Behind society's toleration.
You see we are the outcasts, misfits and freaks no one wants to be bothered with.
Little do they know it only takes one wrong step in this world to fall through the cracks.
And land in the same seat we're sitting in.
Since we sit in the lower ranks of human existence, we are at the mercy of others.
Forced to ask them to help in order to become equal in the world view.
But the shadows are a hard place to escape, so we must wait to be seen.
By someone that takes the time to look.
But most of us are beyond the human eyes of the popular kids who grew up to be placed in corporate America.
Walking in their suits basking in sunlight, sipping on their latte's.
We sit wondering what a drip would taste like.
When they walk past for a minute we remember what the sun feels like on our pale skin.
Then we realize, just as in the past, they are ignorant to the fact we exist.
Then the shadows come again.
Covering our existence to a world gone blind.

What ya think???

I know I know

2009-10-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

I promise I am going to update this blog on a more regular basis starting.......NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So here we go!!

Here is President Obama's Weekly Address this Week Enjoy!! :)

Serena's Burden (An Opinion Piece)

2009-09-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

I am so very disappointed at the situation that took place at the United States Open in the women's semi-final match between Serena Williams and Kim Clijsters. I mean I am not even going to go into the call the lines woman made because that is not my concern. But Serena Williams is so I have to take a minute and examine the situation. I have been watching her grow and mature on and off the tennis court for about twelve years now and I must say she has been through it all. She has been booed off of stadiums and criticized throughout the majority of her tennis career. But she still has remained gracious and one of the best through it all.

But let me tell you something. The way she has been treated is utterly ridiculous. I mean I am outraged this is one of the iconic figures of tennis in this generation and she makes one mistake and the United States tennis Association is really going to treat her like this? I mean besides this incident, her mere presence helps the extremely lacking WTA tour. Serena and her sister Venus are two of the most recognizable faces in the world of tennis and without them women's tennis would suffer. Most people that come to see women's tennis come to see them anyway.

What makes me the most upset about this situation is the fact that the media is starting to get it's dirty little hands on it. And of course everyone has an opinion. I have watched several of these shows and many of the Caucasian reporters are having serious issues about how Serena conducted herself. One reporter said she thought it was disgraceful and talked about how her kids would be effected by seeing the event. What people fail to realize is the racial relations related to this incident.

Serena is clearly the dominate player in woman's tennis at this moment and they (the USTA) have clearly been upset about this. They have tried at various times in her reign to distrupt her. Mary Carillo a popular commentator talks about Williams and how she embarrassed the sport by her actions. But what about the sport and what it has done to Serena Williams. Everyone needs to remember the several instances which this has happened before to Serena. I have a theory that Venus is too reserved to display such emotions on the court but Serena is not because she is more emotional and is also a bigger threat to the popular Caucasian stars atop the tennis ladder.

2004 U.S. Open Quarterfinal against Capriati where she was constantly cheated

2003 French Open Semifinal Against Justine Henin where she was booed out of the match (the hand up incident) (Mind you she was right on ever thing, the calls and even the hand up rule)

What about that code violation for the crowds unsportsmanlike conduct????? Not to mention Justine's blatant cheating!!!!!!! I am a justine fan but right is right and rules are rules. Funny how they can be bent for anyone except Serena

Trust me, if this was Maria Sharapova a.k.a. the great white hope in women's tennis we would have heard whispers in the media instead of this onslaught of negativity we have seen over the past few days and trust me I know what I am talking about I have been watching this sport for over 15 years....

Here are some examples of other stars breaking racquets and having outburst and receiving no penalties.......

John Mcenro

Here is another more recent outburst!!!!!

Jennifer Capriati

Roger Federer

So let me get this straight when Federer does it, it's a good thing because he is having a bad day and this release of frustration may help him. Did anyone hear a fine or violation called???? When Serena does it she gets a code violation and a $500 fine from the U.S. Open for racquet abuse??

Fernando Gonzalez

So when Gonzalez does it, it's considered intelligent and a good thing because now he has the crowd on his side and notice he was coded only after smashing it (his racquet) four times.

Andy Roddick

Don't even get me started on Andy Roddick a.k.a the great white hope in American tennis. Look at how he is constantly in the same match belittling the umpire. Yelling at him, asking if he ever finished school and calling him an idiot. I mean really people, did anyone hear a code violation????

Most people would say but why at the U.S. Open she is American right??? No, she is African American and there are completely different standards for us as these videos prove.

Finding Kanye

2009-09-15T16:46:00.000-07:00

Well well well, I was talking to a professor of mine today who is a great journalist/writer and we were discussing the incident that involved Kanye West humiliating the young Taylor Swift at the VMA's. She had a most interesting theory that West hurting caused the outburst. I was thinking that since West's mother passed, he has been lost without her. Either way someone needs to talk with this young misguided star before his shine fades. His fame has completely shot to a new level of outrageous antics and stupidity since his mother, who was also his rock, passed.

It is as if he is almost a different person these days. Since she passed, West has put out an album of singing which while entertaining is not his forte. And he is obviously disturbed about where he is in life. Now what am I saying? Am I giving West an excuse from his behavior? Oh no not at all. I am saying that this most unpleasant outburst came from somewhere deeper than the bottle of liquor he drank on the red carpet before going into the event.

All in all, Taylor Swift is a gifted song writer that will be around for years to come if her fame so far is any indication. Her album "Fearless" has gone number one in fourteen different countries. The song "You Belong with Me" which she won best female video over Beyonce and Lady Gaga, shows her tremendous crossover ability by landing as high as number two on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Amid all of the success her first VMA win will always be tarnished by West's inappropriate actions.

Alright I'm Back

2009-08-26T07:11:00.000-07:00

I am soooo sorry you guys, I mean I have been swamped with work and life in general....But I am back and refreshed and ready to work work work......I am always taking suggestions for topics that you guys want to read about but I already have a few things in mind for the coming days so sit back relax and enjoy the read.

A Serious Question ????!!!!

2009-07-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here watching this Real Housewives of Atlanta Marathon they are having because of the season premiere that will happen tonight at ten. If you didn't know now you know. I am a little frustrated watching this because a situation that happened on the series currently happened to me and I just realized it. So of course I had to share it with you. My question is, if you are my friend I mean my true friend, why would I ever lie to you? I mean my personal belief is if I am a true friend of yours I wouldn't lie to you. I would not tell you that you looked good in something if you did not because I would be setting you up to look a hot ass mess in public. One of my latest tweets the other day was: Real friends tell you the truth, fake friends stroke your ego. Also, it is not about keeping someone down because I would not do that to a friend but if your wrong then I am going to tell you your wrong and that will be that.

On the show, Kim and Sharae started to get close and they decided that they had haters. Now this is kind of off topic but something that needs to be addressed IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!Now a hater is someone that tries to put you down for no reason. Someone who cannot do what you can do so they try to pull you down in the dumps with them. What most over-sensitive people fail to realize is, sometimes people are just trying to help you. Because it is worse when you get out in the public eye and everyone is laughing at you because you thought you were talented and their laughs confirm that your not.

A friend is someone who is just keeping it real and has your best interest at heart. Now Kim wanted to be a singer and Nene being the good friend she was told her that she couldn't sing which is true. I mean I know we are all entitled to our opinions but truth is truth. Anyone can listen to that women and know that she is not a singer. I mean it just is not in her deck of cards the almighty gave her. So to call someone a hater because someone told you the truth breeds an insecurity one has with themselves. This is just my opinion but it is unbelieveable that people are so quick to call someone a hater just because they were honest.

So she gets mad at Nene for telling her the truth and goes to Sharae that will only soothe her ego by telling her to believe in her dreams and all of this bull...Now I am all for having dreams but you have to have the tools to at least work toward attaining the dream or goal you have in mind. I mean you cannot be a dancer without having danced or trained to be one. It's just common sense to me but I am fully aware that everyone does not think the same way I do. In the end Nene was labeled as a "hater" and Kim basically abandoned a friend because that friend told her the truth. I mean it makes no sense to me at all.

This happened to me which is the main reason I am writing this post. But now that I look at it, my friend and I had more holes in our relationship that reached deeper then just me telling him the truth. We really had little in common except the fact that we are both writers and black men trying to make it. I don't think we will ever be as close as we once were because I am not here to pad a person's ego or listen to someone who is so self involved that it makes my ears bleed. But I hope that for professional purposes we are able to be cordial to one another and still become fab journalists.

Stop the Presses

2009-07-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

Ok so I have a serious question you guys that has been filling my mind for the last few days. If someone wants to be with you aren't they suppose to take you as you are? I mean fully love and cherish the person you are no matter what. This person in my mind, is supposed to understand all of your little quirks and at least tolerate them. I mean I do not expect in the least for this person to act fake and try to put up with me if they really don't want to, but if you love me you have to deal with certain things.

So I ask this question because honey I am in a little bit of a pickle *In Karen Walker voice* I am dating this guy which is hard for me in the first place because I am frankly already tired of keeping track of the people I am dating, and I feel he likes me. So you may wonder what is the problem?? It seems he likes me but that he wants to change me. The reason I suspect this is because he is always talking about which "workout" he is going to put me on. There are also other things that he does and says that lead me to believe he is kind of superficial and heavily influenced by appearance. Anyone who knows me has to know this is the fastest way to turn me off. Now it is possible that he thinks he is helping me because I want too work on my stomach, but I don't need a daily reminder of it.

Now, the other part of the story is better but I am afraid just as complicated. So I was in Baltimore over the past week and I saw an old friend and was really caught off guard. He is someone I have dated before and I really loved him at one point. The reason we had to part was because he did not have his shit together. I mean the first night we met he asked me for money. I was nice and gave it to him but in my head I was like really, I just met you. Another reason and probably the biggest why I had to let him go was he was soooo negative. I am a very upbeat person so he was bringing me down. Everytime I would call something was wrong. Anywho, I like him still and he has changed or it at least appears that way.

So we talked *after doing a few other things, insert smile* and he just laid it on thick. He started to share with me how he was so in love with me and the fact that he couldn't lose me again. He also gave me a ring which carried sentimental value to him and told me that he was saving it for someone special and that he wanted me to wear it. I gagged ok!!!!! I am really stuck between the two of them, HELP ME!!!!!

I tell this little story to try and figure out who to choose? Both have pros and cons but the bottom line is one accepts me for who I already am while the other is trying to create something that is not there yet. Don't ever let someone change you unless you are ready or want to be changed because in the end you have the final say.

Protected

2009-07-23T06:12:00.001-07:00

Have you ever heard the true sounds of the forest? Ever really listened to birds flying in a unison that is unmatched by any other group on earth. The smell of the trees and the pitch of the animals running, the scream of the rabbit dying and the fulfillment of the snake eating it. I sit here and watch all of these things unfold from my spot in this union of life. I am in the center of the forest and perhaps one of the tallest beings. I am the king of the forest because my limbs touch everything and tend to form green armor in autumn until the seasons change and my limbs are bare, helpless and unprotected. I have been here the longest as well. Who knew that those little seeds could create something so incredibly massive? I feel the wind whisper in my ears and the birds lay in my skin and create a home of their own. I protect the little ones from the crying of God, and the wrath of the Devil. It is not an easy job but one that I have decided to take on because I feel that I am responsible for these creatures. I am the father of the forests and my children need to be protected at all times. They are small, delicate, scared and dying left and right because of the stronger beings that require us to survive. You see, I am everywhere-in parks, zoos, and lurking in playgrounds. There is only one thing that can stop me is the world. The sound terrifies me because death is knocking on my door. It is cold, uninviting and mocking. This is the one thing that can beat me. I can’t go, who is going to protect my children in our home? Have I failed them because I am not strong enough? No. I am strong but I have to burn now, am I really dying if I am just going to be cut up and used for a different source of pleasure now. I guess I will be watching the other beings grow and have pleasant dinners and watch them watching the box where sounds fall out and they tend to laugh or cry. Either way there is no one to protect me from this, the blade slides through me and I scream like the rabbit and I understand that every life is important. Once I am fertilized and grow again that rabbit will live, because I now realize I could have done more to save his life. I am sure he left behind someone that needed to be protected.

Defected!!!!!

2009-07-23T06:09:00.000-07:00

I AM DEFECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Something has to be wrong with me
I am not taking you seriously
I don’t wake up with the urge to call you at all
Don’t want to break your heart trying not to let it fall
The urge to be with you in your presence
You fill so much for me
But I Feel empty
This nothingness disturbs me to the core
I want to feel like you do
But I am torn inside
Numb
Still Dealing with the side effects of other failures
I am presently not operational
Like a toy overused
Why can’t I feel this love that is so evident in my life?
I am missing out on this joyous experience
I am defected
Broken, Erased, Reset
Trying to restart and become functional once again
So I can play my part
In this love story I am living

The Fire in A Woman's Heart: A Short Story

2009-07-22T06:52:00.007-07:00

She sees him walking all around every day looking so good in his shoes, fitted hat and fresh white tee or crisp polo. 6’3, 19, a rich heresy chocolate complexion, dark deep brown eyes that a girl could lose herself in if she wasn’t careful. Not knowing what she is going to get herself into. He sees her the same way. Desiree looks good, the way she struts around like she is the shit and she knows it. 5’10, 21, a light golden honey complexion, yeah she was sweet and looked good enough to eat, heels, long flowing hair that never seemed to end, the face of a model but the body of a southern girl. Jeans, hugging every part of her body like nature intended it to with a form fitting top. He had seen her around a lot. Always looking nice and wondering when he was going to be able to try to talk to her. It was the end of freshmen year and he had his eye on her from the beginning.

See, she was not the average girl because she not only had the looks and the body but she had the brains as well. She was about to be a senior at Southern University. Tim, being a freshmen, knew that this would put him on the map if he could get Desiree in the sheets. He was a little scared about their age difference but he figured with all of the girls he got in High School, College girls could not be that much different. She was one of the most popular girls on campus and she was bad. He decided to go for it even though he was still a little nervous. He came toward her like she was a wounded gazelle in the desert and he was a lion coming to feast on his prey.

“What’s good shorty”, He says. “Nothing much what’s up with you, boy” she replies.

With a simple hello to one another, the tension started to bounce off of their bodies erupting like fireworks in the sky. He wants to get her into his bed but she is no ordinary female and Tim knows he will have to treat her right in order to get what he wants. So he decides to take it slow with her and treat her with respect because this is the way she carries herself. It’s a shame that all he wants to do is add her to his checklist of girls that he has been with dating back to High School. He does not want to know about how she is scared of thunder and likes to be held in order to feel safe or how she is obsessed with Tori Amos and Aaliyah.

No, no, no, Tim has no interest in that, just in getting her to open up the cookie jar. He wants to sample her cookies and try to figure out how good they taste in contrast to all the other flavors he has sampled in the past. Tim is no ordinary male either, he plays the part of the caring, sweet, considerate boyfriend for three months in order to get close enough to her so he can get inside of her house to taste the cookies. Tim waits and waits until one day she decided to open the door and give him a grand tour.

“Tonight”, Desiree says. “Are you sure you want to do this babe?”, Tim replies. “Yes, because I feel like we are becoming one emotionally, do you feel the same Tim?”

Tim thought for a minute to himself and he realized that this was the moment where he could seal the deal, all of this time having no interest in this girl what-so-ever, he cannot believe that she cracked and gave him the perfect excuse to lay in bed with her. “Yes, baby I feel the same” he said.
After that familiar beacon of light went down and the birds took their leave for the day, Tim came over to see her and he was ready to taste these cookies. They would probably be the sweetest yet.

Tim was truly a sneaky, devilish, boy that had no remorse for the countless number of females he took advantage of over the course of his life. Desiree would be no different to him, just the first college name to check off of his list.
He looked into her eyes and peaked down into her soul where she was her most vulnerable. Her eyes read “take me”, or so he thought. He grabbed her and while he gazed into her eyes that were leaning back into her head he saw her for the first time. His body overtook hers as a dominate force and they breathed as one. He thrust and he had found the cookie jar. Hers were unlike any other he had sampled before. He could not understand or figure out why, but there was something about hers that set her apart from the rest. “It was extra warm and more experienced!”, Tim concluded.

She grabbed him and was holding on as if she were hanging off of a building, grasping for life, she screamed “I Love You” and while she was screaming he was dying. This was something that Tim was not aware of. Tim was always a harsh person but he never cared about anyone, but on this day he finally found his match.
Among the countless number of girls there was one he messed with named Stacie Washington. Tim and Stacie were both seventeen at the time of their sexual encounter. She was a sweet girl who never did anything to anyone and just wanted to have a steady boyfriend that loved her. She unfortunately ran into Tim. He did the same thing to her and her entire world changed for the worst. Again, he did the same thing to her as he had just finished doing to Desiree and Stacie was heartbroken. She transformed from the sweet little girl that never hurt anyone, to a ferocious mean-spirited girl who was out for revenge. That same week she received a call from her older sister with tragic news. Her sister told her that she had just discovered that she was H.I.V. positive. Stacie felt so sorry for her sister but she also was still upset about what had happened to her.

Tim soon realized the difference in Desiree’s cookies; they were made out of infected dough. By the time Tim was a junior in college, he knew about his condition. His T-cells had dropped so low that his skin started to change colors. He caught what started as a bad cough and turned into the flu. As he lay in the hospital bed dying, he tried to remember all of the girls that he had loved and left to try and figure out who had given him this deadly virus. Carmen, Tiffany, Karen, Stacie, Sabrina, Dawn, Dominique.

“This just doesn’t make sense.” Tim thought.

That night he closed his eyes for the last time and he would never know what had happened to him in this life. The virus had overtaken his system so much that by the time he knew his status it was too late.

What Tim never found out were the last names of the girls that he had intercourse with. There was Carmen Adams, Tiffany Weatherspoon, Dominique Johnson, Karen O’Day, Sabrina Mitchell, Dawn Hill, Stacie Washington, and Desiree Washington. Maybe if Tim would have cared just a little bit more about who he laid in bed with, he would have realized that Stacie and Desiree were sisters.

The day Stacie found out that her sister was H.I.V. positive, she also told her sister about Tim and how he treated her. Desiree, hearing the story of her sister’s experience, became emotional over the phone and told her younger sister not to worry because she would take care of everything. Desiree had experienced guys like Tim before and she decided to put a stop to his madness once and for all. She decided to punish Tim for his years of heartbreak and disloyalty to women. She decided to do it without her younger sister knowing.

When she first saw Tim she felt bad knowing that she was about to kill another human being but after remembering the sounds of her beloved sister’s cries on the phone a fire raged in her and she knew what she wanted to do. Everyday for the first week of school she attended every function Tim attended and made sure she was gorgeous at all times. She knew that she would eventually get his attention, but what she did not know was how long to wait before infecting him. She didn’t know how smart he was so she played the respected, don’t take no mess, sister because she knew that if she tried to strike too soon that he might become suspicious. She will never forget the day that she infected him. She was so pleased with herself knowing that she honored her promise to her sister and that Tim’s days were numbered because he had not the slightest clue. Which leads to the point of the story, don’t mess with a woman’s heart because once it is lit ablaze the flames will be unstoppable. And you might get burned.

The Center of Me: Poem

2009-07-22T06:34:00.000-07:00

You are a piece, a part the art of me

What am I to do with you I have no clue

I am so very confused because you love me

I mean really love me through actions because I don’t believe in people’s words anymore

Because sometimes they are false opening only trapped doors

And you know why, you know everything and you still love me

In my world that is so odd

There are no masks around you just me

I am completely stripped of the everyday world

You are a piece, a part the art of me

You make me feel so beautiful

I don’t deserve you

And to think I almost let you slip through my little fingers

I now realize that I must close my fists and grab you before you slip

Through the cracks of my soul

You give me a reason to smile again

To live, feel and breathe again

I feel light and a little like a human being again

You have no idea what you mean to me

You are a piece, a part the art of me

Setting me free from this world

Wrapping me up in your leaves of love

I love your scenery your green grass with your soiled completion that nurtures me

You set me free my soul on fire

With the desire to love you

To L.O.V.E. you be with Y.O.U

YOU LOVE ME

You are helping me slowly put back the pieces of my heart

That once became lost in the dark

It has been one hell of a hunt finding them

Always playing the perfect role at the perfect time

You are a piece, a part the art of me

Teaching, loving, completing me

Eternal Life: Poem

2009-07-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

When I was lost and near death the ocean took my lifeless hands and breathed into them.

I was instantly hydrated by its liquid life.

I swam and swam until I reached the destination I desired.

As I look back at the water it smiles at me.

Urging me to keep pushing, keep living, life.

I will never forget when the ocean shared a part of itself with me and breathed
inspiration into my merely human body.

Nature is inside of me now, a piece of my limbs.

I promise I will never let the ocean down.

Because it has high hopes for me in the world I am plunging into.

I will have to hold my breath and swim to my eventual freedom.

Poem:Truth Hurts

2009-06-30T16:41:00.001-07:00

When I left the underworld and came to earth there was something different about me

Gone are the days of happiness

Of joyful memories on the playground with the other little ones

Playing in the sandbox

In the sandbox we played without a care in the world no one tried and change us

No one to tear us down and make us into something we were not

I have been through all of the highs and lows of life and it was not fun

I have often wondered when I will get there, to that place of peace

Of Knowing

I will never be the same thanks to you

Your vile sack of flesh said you loved me in every way

Lies and lies filling my head and my heart

Killing, Killing, Killing me the entire time you said you loved me

Did you ever think how this would affect me?

I guess not

I guess you just wanted to fill up my head while I lay down and let you fill me up

With your poison that causes me to regret ever knowing you at all

The poison that makes me take two extra pills a day besides my vitamins

The worst part is that you are not even man enough to just say sorry

I am not a HORE I KNOW IT WAS YOU

YOU DID THIS

You changed me so much that I cannot even be myself anymore

I am so hateful and ashamed that I ever fell into your web of mistrust

I hope you enjoyed having my sweetness and sucking the literal life out of me at the same time

My sandbox has turned into a square space of daggers that are constantly stabbing me

And my playground has turned into my own personal Hell

But you will be happy to know that this playground is full as well

With other souls that loved too hard for their own good

WE are all here in the underworld and realize that we are gone but we will have our day

Our day to shine and possibly get back that light that was once in us

And escape the darkness living has become

Poem: Noah’s Pain

2009-06-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

Drip, Drip, Drip
As I am walking my broken world falls from the sky in the form of liquid
I guess the Lord is crying for me because he just saw what happened
I can’t I can’t
Is what he said to me
Earth shattering, heart breaking, relationship ending, rain pouring
Making my hopes, dreams and aspirations drown in a devastating fashion
I can’t I can’t
He said that he was too scared to follow me
He did not want to leave the house he grew in
Grew and grew into the delicate flower he represented today
His personality was like a well organized garden and I was trying to add to much clutter
Causing the flowers not to get as much sun and rot
This plan I had for us to leave and go away together
Leave this horrible place of waste
To go get lost in all kinds of weather
Together light as feathers, forever
But he will not, No!!!!! Cannot come with me
He cannot take his future to the dumpster like I can
Because the trash can of his life did not have much waste in it
Mine was overfilling by the minute
He cannot afford to get thrown out like me
He is broke
No ends, No bread, No Doe, dollars, nothing to hold him together accept me
I guess I would not be enough
His parents were like mine thinking everything was fine with his life
In the dark about who he was
He and I defy the world, but cry like the children we are to our parents
Church lectures, Society, School, others opinions could not stop us
Drip, Drip, Drip
My parents tears continue to rain on us
He is more scared then me, safe, comfortable, caged
He had grown comfortable or accustomed being held down by the shackles of life
He had found time to cope but to me freedom is like Dope
And now that I have had a taste I will no longer be placed in a cage of emotions
He can’t he can’t
Risk everything just to be with me
We to he was not worth throwing life away where as I wanted to die for him
Two souls drifted apart
We became I
Like a dagger to the vital organ in the system
I sure will miss him
Thought he was my baby but his constant maybe’s has me asking God to save me
Because I am alone now
Drip, Drip, Drip
Disappointment and failed expectations rain down on my hard head
I am shattered, broken and Damaged, Damaged, Damaged,
My heart is damaged
Now I’ll see if I can manage to walk back to my parents
17 years gone in an instant
Life experiences over and done with
No happy ending for me because I am not want they wanted their mistake
Was all of their love and support over the years just a lie
I am still a guy, I just happen to be into men
So now, so then they are not having it
They kicked me out of the house I grew accustomed to the only one I ever knew
Living on these streets in brand new
Brand New, Brand New
My parents changed the game they flip there well written script on me
No longer caring, no longer picking me up if I scrapped my knee
They are the ones that force me to fall again
My knee’s are pumping red acid from them
Drip, Drip, Drip
Sorrow coming so fast from the sky it is like my whole life has rained on me tonight
How could the walls crumble on our union
I thought we were truly intertwined as vines together on a tree cute as can be
Ooooooooh these little earthquakes, doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces
For the record I gave him everything and he left me stranded
Abandoned to face this cruel world all alone with no home
You see Faggots, Fairy’s, Queens, and Homo’s are different in many ways
Drip, Drip, Drip
Realization and regret pours
So many different prices to pay in our way of life
Not as simple as if looks a relationship eyes and the earth shook
No one is happy especially me cause the rain is overbearing continuously smothering me
Nowhere to go nowhere at all, look how quickly I had to fall
Just because I loved someone and people think it’s wrong
This is my heart, my soul, this is my song
Along the streets is where I reside
I should have just swallowed my existence and my pride
Done what society set out for me to do
I would have been free out of this house in two
Years having no more fears
Drip, Drip, Drip
My soul is crying,
In the depths where my pride is lying,
On the street where my body is dying

Is Being Gay Just a Phase

2009-06-30T15:01:00.000-07:00

The Gay Debate

In America the homosexual has been put into a particular category as far as the public is concerned. The public can only judge what they see, hear and read and thanks to the media and some rotten apples within the gay community, homosexuals are often seen in a light that does not represent the entire gay community. Being gay is considered a trend to some but it all depends on the individual at hand. Some people have developed a notion that being gay is a choice so they decided to try it in order to see what it is like. Others are just honestly confused and are truly experimenting with their sexuality. Some others are people who are upset at the fact that the opposite sex is not as attracted to them as they would like so they crossed to the other side to see if they can find that special someone. Lastly, there are those unfortunate few that are influenced to be gay because of their environment and the fact that they were sexually abused when they were younger. According to an article on Mentalhealth.net, “Sigmund Freud wrote that the child, fearful of his father wrath, identifies with his mother and, unconsciously takes his father (or men in general) as the object of their sexual love. Other and more recent writers have discussed sexual abuse in the home or neighborhood at the hands of relatives and or friends and neighbors.” As a child certain behaviors can influence an individual to act or grow a certain way and being abused sexually can have an affect on a child’s psyche. These individuals are turning being gay into a trend because there is nothing inside of them that is naturally pulling them toward being attracted to the same gender.

There has been much research to try and suggest that being a Homosexual is a problem or some type of mental disorder that an individual must seek help for. This is truly nonsense because the one thing that the researchers are missing in these studies are the actual gay people. Most of the studies are just telling the public the facts the scientist have found but most have no input from the gay community or a gay person at all. Of course there are other reports that say a fetus is born gay because of there genetics. This would prove that the sexuality of a person is predetermined. As reported by the Seattle Times, “If science proves homosexuality is innate, is there any basis to deny gays equal treatment — including the right to marry?” Gay people are just that, people, and we need to treat them as such. Let’s put ourselves in their shoes for a minute. What if we were not able to get a job or visit a loved one in the hospital because we were a heterosexual? What if we were not allowed certain rights had the fear of going to school or going into a specific field of work because of the fact that we were heterosexual and we were scared or others judging us because of our sexual orientation? Is that fair at all? NO!!!!! Homosexuals want kids, proper taxes and the right to marry as well and who are we to say that because they sleep with the same gender they do not deserve these basic principles of love in their lives?

Now there are others in the world who knows the truth about being gay. These people will tell you that they do not know why they are attracted to the same sex they have just always been that way. These people would be the actual gay people that the researchers are missing in their studies. Being gay is a lifestyle because this is who this individual is as a person the only difference is that he or she happens to be attracted to the same gender. These people get up in the morning and go to work like you and I and the only difference is that they are sleeping with the same sex instead of the opposite one. It does not shape them as an individual the fact they are gay, in fact, it is only a part of their entire being. Most of them do not fit the stereotypical roles that America has placed homosexuals in at this time either. So should they be punished for existing?

Shows like Will & Grace and certain characters on few other shows that are on public television in prime time, shows gay characters in a positive setting. These shows put gay people in a light where they are actual people living lives but they just happen to be attracted to the same gender. Other shows and movies like Queer as Folk, Noah’s Arc and The Salon are misrepresentations of the gay community as a unit. As long as the media continues to show the negative side of gay culture homosexuals will never get a fair shot of being accepted. Of course there are gay individuals who are materialistic, flamboyant, self- centered and cruel. In saying this, the same can be said about a heterosexual person as well. The point is as a whole the gay community happens to be regular people who attracted to the same gender. This is truly the only difference between a heterosexual person and a homosexual one. Being a homosexual is a part of this person it is who they are and they cannot change it or be fixed as some would suggest. So it is time for the public to accept it and let everyone live their lives and be happy.

Never Again: Poem

2009-06-29T23:19:00.001-07:00

Never Again will I fall
For your lies
Causing my eternal cries that lead to my self destruction
Never Again will I let you
Cause a whirlwind in my heart
The scar tissue surrounding it
The source of blooding lessening
Circulation fleeing
Soul Dying
Never Again will I allow you to lose your way
Because if you're lost so am I
And we together would then become a lost cause
Never Again will I grant you
The V.I.P access to my heart
Snow will start to fall on my usually warm existence 24/7
Until the ice penetrates my core and I have no need for jacket or glove anymore
Making my interior cold as ice
The freezing cold stopping the flowing of my usual steady emotions
Never Again will I be in this most uncomfortable place
Where the many memories become meaningless
The picture frames broken
The walls bare
And our cozy home once filled with soothing emotions
Is now an empty wasteland that does not feel
Never Again
Never Again
Never Again

Listening to: Never Again
By Kelly Clarkson
Album: My December

Intro

2009-06-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

Hello all and welcome to a June babies Journey. This will be a blog about me and how I am, the daily struggles I endure and things I go through in life. So sit back and enjoy the Journey's of a June Baby.