Last night I went over this guys house and before anything happened I realized something. Something I did not want to admit to myself for the longest time but now I know is true. We are all interchangeably interchangeable in this life. Meaning when one thing doesn't work we just go to the next. I say this because before we messed around, he told me all of these stories about how he did it to this and that guy almost as if I should have been impressed or worse grateful that he was going to do it to me now.
I mean we are all bodies on this earth that go from host to host taking a chance on them, hoping they will respect us. Hoping they will love us and all. I mean this is just a mess because I used to have a problem with people that got around too much but I am starting to realize that everyone does. I mean weather you're a top or bottom the shit is all the same. I had a discussion with my EX today and he told me he had sex with 24 people in the span of a couple of days. I guess he was really feeling himself in this time period. Well, anyway back to last night. As I was being told the tale of all of these boys I started to wonder, "If I let this nigga hit will I be just another story to put in his sexual portfolio of clients?"
I mean this really made me feel uncomfortable in a way. I grew up with this notion that you find the one that makes you happy and they stay with you and love you until the end. I am trying to figure out if I really was this young and naive in this assumption or has the world just become corrupted? With sex, lies, drugs, and greed to have a list of bodies. I mean I have no idea at this point???? I was also trying to figure out if this dude was just really being honest with me and all but I guess only time will tell!!!
AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION YES!!!!! WE HAD SEX AND IT WAS WORTH IT :)
Listening to: Alicia Keys- Doesn't mean anything From the album : The Element of Freedom
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