Poem:Truth Hurts

When I left the underworld and came to earth there was something different about me

Gone are the days of happiness

Of joyful memories on the playground with the other little ones

Playing in the sandbox

In the sandbox we played without a care in the world no one tried and change us

No one to tear us down and make us into something we were not

I have been through all of the highs and lows of life and it was not fun

I have often wondered when I will get there, to that place of peace

Of Knowing

I will never be the same thanks to you

Your vile sack of flesh said you loved me in every way

Lies and lies filling my head and my heart

Killing, Killing, Killing me the entire time you said you loved me

Did you ever think how this would affect me?

I guess not

I guess you just wanted to fill up my head while I lay down and let you fill me up

With your poison that causes me to regret ever knowing you at all

The poison that makes me take two extra pills a day besides my vitamins

The worst part is that you are not even man enough to just say sorry

I am not a HORE I KNOW IT WAS YOU

YOU DID THIS

You changed me so much that I cannot even be myself anymore

I am so hateful and ashamed that I ever fell into your web of mistrust

I hope you enjoyed having my sweetness and sucking the literal life out of me at the same time

My sandbox has turned into a square space of daggers that are constantly stabbing me

And my playground has turned into my own personal Hell

But you will be happy to know that this playground is full as well

With other souls that loved too hard for their own good

WE are all here in the underworld and realize that we are gone but we will have our day

Our day to shine and possibly get back that light that was once in us

And escape the darkness living has become

Poem: Noah’s Pain

Drip, Drip, Drip
As I am walking my broken world falls from the sky in the form of liquid
I guess the Lord is crying for me because he just saw what happened
I can’t I can’t
Is what he said to me
Earth shattering, heart breaking, relationship ending, rain pouring
Making my hopes, dreams and aspirations drown in a devastating fashion
I can’t I can’t
He said that he was too scared to follow me
He did not want to leave the house he grew in
Grew and grew into the delicate flower he represented today
His personality was like a well organized garden and I was trying to add to much clutter
Causing the flowers not to get as much sun and rot
This plan I had for us to leave and go away together
Leave this horrible place of waste
To go get lost in all kinds of weather
Together light as feathers, forever
But he will not, No!!!!! Cannot come with me
He cannot take his future to the dumpster like I can
Because the trash can of his life did not have much waste in it
Mine was overfilling by the minute
He cannot afford to get thrown out like me
He is broke
No ends, No bread, No Doe, dollars, nothing to hold him together accept me
I guess I would not be enough
His parents were like mine thinking everything was fine with his life
In the dark about who he was
He and I defy the world, but cry like the children we are to our parents
Church lectures, Society, School, others opinions could not stop us
Drip, Drip, Drip
My parents tears continue to rain on us
He is more scared then me, safe, comfortable, caged
He had grown comfortable or accustomed being held down by the shackles of life
He had found time to cope but to me freedom is like Dope
And now that I have had a taste I will no longer be placed in a cage of emotions
He can’t he can’t
Risk everything just to be with me
We to he was not worth throwing life away where as I wanted to die for him
Two souls drifted apart
We became I
Like a dagger to the vital organ in the system
I sure will miss him
Thought he was my baby but his constant maybe’s has me asking God to save me
Because I am alone now
Drip, Drip, Drip
Disappointment and failed expectations rain down on my hard head
I am shattered, broken and Damaged, Damaged, Damaged,
My heart is damaged
Now I’ll see if I can manage to walk back to my parents
17 years gone in an instant
Life experiences over and done with
No happy ending for me because I am not want they wanted their mistake
Was all of their love and support over the years just a lie
I am still a guy, I just happen to be into men
So now, so then they are not having it
They kicked me out of the house I grew accustomed to the only one I ever knew
Living on these streets in brand new
Brand New, Brand New
My parents changed the game they flip there well written script on me
No longer caring, no longer picking me up if I scrapped my knee
They are the ones that force me to fall again
My knee’s are pumping red acid from them
Drip, Drip, Drip
Sorrow coming so fast from the sky it is like my whole life has rained on me tonight
How could the walls crumble on our union
I thought we were truly intertwined as vines together on a tree cute as can be
Ooooooooh these little earthquakes, doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces
For the record I gave him everything and he left me stranded
Abandoned to face this cruel world all alone with no home
You see Faggots, Fairy’s, Queens, and Homo’s are different in many ways
Drip, Drip, Drip
Realization and regret pours
So many different prices to pay in our way of life
Not as simple as if looks a relationship eyes and the earth shook
No one is happy especially me cause the rain is overbearing continuously smothering me
Nowhere to go nowhere at all, look how quickly I had to fall
Just because I loved someone and people think it’s wrong
This is my heart, my soul, this is my song
Along the streets is where I reside
I should have just swallowed my existence and my pride
Done what society set out for me to do
I would have been free out of this house in two
Years having no more fears
Drip, Drip, Drip
My soul is crying,
In the depths where my pride is lying,
On the street where my body is dying

Is Being Gay Just a Phase

The Gay Debate

In America the homosexual has been put into a particular category as far as the public is concerned. The public can only judge what they see, hear and read and thanks to the media and some rotten apples within the gay community, homosexuals are often seen in a light that does not represent the entire gay community. Being gay is considered a trend to some but it all depends on the individual at hand. Some people have developed a notion that being gay is a choice so they decided to try it in order to see what it is like. Others are just honestly confused and are truly experimenting with their sexuality. Some others are people who are upset at the fact that the opposite sex is not as attracted to them as they would like so they crossed to the other side to see if they can find that special someone. Lastly, there are those unfortunate few that are influenced to be gay because of their environment and the fact that they were sexually abused when they were younger. According to an article on Mentalhealth.net, “Sigmund Freud wrote that the child, fearful of his father wrath, identifies with his mother and, unconsciously takes his father (or men in general) as the object of their sexual love. Other and more recent writers have discussed sexual abuse in the home or neighborhood at the hands of relatives and or friends and neighbors.” As a child certain behaviors can influence an individual to act or grow a certain way and being abused sexually can have an affect on a child’s psyche. These individuals are turning being gay into a trend because there is nothing inside of them that is naturally pulling them toward being attracted to the same gender.

There has been much research to try and suggest that being a Homosexual is a problem or some type of mental disorder that an individual must seek help for. This is truly nonsense because the one thing that the researchers are missing in these studies are the actual gay people. Most of the studies are just telling the public the facts the scientist have found but most have no input from the gay community or a gay person at all. Of course there are other reports that say a fetus is born gay because of there genetics. This would prove that the sexuality of a person is predetermined. As reported by the Seattle Times, “If science proves homosexuality is innate, is there any basis to deny gays equal treatment — including the right to marry?” Gay people are just that, people, and we need to treat them as such. Let’s put ourselves in their shoes for a minute. What if we were not able to get a job or visit a loved one in the hospital because we were a heterosexual? What if we were not allowed certain rights had the fear of going to school or going into a specific field of work because of the fact that we were heterosexual and we were scared or others judging us because of our sexual orientation? Is that fair at all? NO!!!!! Homosexuals want kids, proper taxes and the right to marry as well and who are we to say that because they sleep with the same gender they do not deserve these basic principles of love in their lives?

Now there are others in the world who knows the truth about being gay. These people will tell you that they do not know why they are attracted to the same sex they have just always been that way. These people would be the actual gay people that the researchers are missing in their studies. Being gay is a lifestyle because this is who this individual is as a person the only difference is that he or she happens to be attracted to the same gender. These people get up in the morning and go to work like you and I and the only difference is that they are sleeping with the same sex instead of the opposite one. It does not shape them as an individual the fact they are gay, in fact, it is only a part of their entire being. Most of them do not fit the stereotypical roles that America has placed homosexuals in at this time either. So should they be punished for existing?

Shows like Will & Grace and certain characters on few other shows that are on public television in prime time, shows gay characters in a positive setting. These shows put gay people in a light where they are actual people living lives but they just happen to be attracted to the same gender. Other shows and movies like Queer as Folk, Noah’s Arc and The Salon are misrepresentations of the gay community as a unit. As long as the media continues to show the negative side of gay culture homosexuals will never get a fair shot of being accepted. Of course there are gay individuals who are materialistic, flamboyant, self- centered and cruel. In saying this, the same can be said about a heterosexual person as well. The point is as a whole the gay community happens to be regular people who attracted to the same gender. This is truly the only difference between a heterosexual person and a homosexual one. Being a homosexual is a part of this person it is who they are and they cannot change it or be fixed as some would suggest. So it is time for the public to accept it and let everyone live their lives and be happy.

Never Again: Poem

Never Again will I fall
For your lies
Causing my eternal cries that lead to my self destruction
Never Again will I let you
Cause a whirlwind in my heart
The scar tissue surrounding it
The source of blooding lessening
Circulation fleeing
Soul Dying
Never Again will I allow you to lose your way
Because if you're lost so am I
And we together would then become a lost cause
Never Again will I grant you
The V.I.P access to my heart
Snow will start to fall on my usually warm existence 24/7
Until the ice penetrates my core and I have no need for jacket or glove anymore
Making my interior cold as ice
The freezing cold stopping the flowing of my usual steady emotions
Never Again will I be in this most uncomfortable place
Where the many memories become meaningless
The picture frames broken
The walls bare
And our cozy home once filled with soothing emotions
Is now an empty wasteland that does not feel
Never Again
Never Again
Never Again

Listening to: Never Again
By Kelly Clarkson
Album: My December

Intro

Hello all and welcome to a June babies Journey. This will be a blog about me and how I am, the daily struggles I endure and things I go through in life. So sit back and enjoy the Journey's of a June Baby.