Christina Aguilera You Lost Me Video Premiere

My girl's second video!!!!!

LOVE IT Nicki Minaj Your Love Video Premiere

OMG this is ONLY my favorite song at the moment.......

Nicki Minaj - New Music - More Music Videos

When will we learn

this is sooooo sad just everything about it

SING CHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG this is this black girl from Glee her name is Amber she is amazing!!!!!!!! I have been not skeptical of her but of some others from the Glee cast. I wondered if they could actually sing the way they do on the show. One thing is for sure we KNOW this girl can blow!!!! Check out this video of her singing the national anthem!!!!!

Set in Their Ways

Older men are usually set in their ways, meaning they already feel that they know themselves so it is utterly impossible they can be taught anything from anyone, especially a younger person. This is something I have heard and my own personal belief. Many of my personal experiences have proven this notion aka my theory to be true.


The ones that you cannot tell a DAMN thing too no matter what are a trip. This type of guy is so frustrating to date because he can be the biggest know it all in the entire world. I hate being corrected in a way that makes me feel dumb. And also I HATE to be corrected about everything almost implying I know nothing. Now this could be me showing how green I am or it could be the flat out truth. I also mainly get the older gentlemen who think they are smarter than I am. This means they feel they can say anything or do anything to me and I am supposed to be alright with it because they are older.

First of all I would LOVE to know where this most insane notion comes from? I mean in my experiences older men have tried to control me for the most part. This can be incredibly frustrating because I am not a puppet and these experiences have made me a harder person to date. (Yeah I admit it I have changed, and it's all your fault) To the point that when someone is being nice to me, I have a hard time knowing if they are truly being genuine.

*SideBar*

I have experienced nothing but the moody older man that barely has his own life together. The one that has spent the majority of his life partying. Or the one that has let the lifestyle get to him soooo much that he is now too emotionally fragile to go on. You can imagine my envy when I talk to friends and they get the other side of this spectrum. Meaning the older guy who has his shit together and can take care of himself and has a decent apartment or even house and maybe a car. The guy that is actually mature instead of the one that thinks he is only because of his age. I tend to get babies who need to be passivized or wiped!!!! OFTEN!!!!! Now I am not a gold digger I DO NOT want or need your money, but be able to take me out on a date and please don't ask for money then never pay it back. My whole thing is if your so big and bad, why can't you pay for your own shit?

*End Sidebar*

They say one is never too old to learn a few new tricks but all of the guys I have dated seem to be just set in their ways. Not trying to be flexible and see things in a different light. They want to override the things I know with their own knowledge instead of teaching me they try to mold me into what they want me to be for them. Instead of broadening my sense of self they confuse me even more.

Have you guys experienced the same types of things or something different?

closure!!!!!!

I have been dealing with this gentlemen for about two years at this point. I mean at first (as it always starts out) everything was great. I mean we had great talks and he is a good person overall but after a some time and some self growing I realized; this nigga is the same as all the rest. But his speciality is he is a wordsmith. He is one of those slick talkers that will have you believing shit that did not happen.

He also lives in a world of double standards one thing I REFUSE to live in. I mean he talks about forgiveness yet throws something I did in the past (that he claims he forgave me for) in my face in a sad attempt to win an argument. I mean talk about an oxymoron. LOL!!!!!! But he makes me think and I feel I grow when I am around him but I also feel he has more shit with him than a fucking cow. Mmmmoooooooo bitch!!!!!! LOL!!!!!

Perfect example, how are you going to ask me where your birthday present is when you did NOT get me a present and even worse did not even remember my birthday? How is that possible when our birthdays are three weeks apart? Then go on to say if I put money in your card I don't have to get you a present. Firstly, I DON'T have to get your ass anything at all I am just being thoughtful (something you were NOT) on my b-day.

Mind you these are just recent examples of the contradictory lifestyle this individual lives on a daily basis. Well I for one am over the bullshit that is constantly shoved down my emotional coffin. Today the coffin is closed and so is my heart!!!!! Well at least from him anyway :)

Busting the Windows to My Sanity

Hey guys i know i missed yesterday!!!! LOL Ooooops anyway here is a quick poem that i wrote a while ago

I bust the windows out your car

Because of the five years of struggle you put me through

A struggle that only ended in my heart being dismantled

From the constant battle I had of trying to make you love me

I bust the windows out your car

And I know It didn’t mend my broken heart

But it helped me play the part

Of the animal you created

5 years of damage that you caused to my being

Turned me into a woman who never wanted to let another man in

My heart wanted to go wither and die

You told me you loved me but your actions said something else

So I busted those windows out your car

Because I knew you always loved it more then you ever loved me

But not more than you loved her

Your newness, your trophy

you always put her in front of me but I never noticed

How you warmly greeted me at the front door

After just showing her out the back

When you lied constantly and showed little interest

I was content to stay and make it work

The way a real woman would

But that day when I walked into my house and saw her there

I knew it was over because my soul finally took a bigger beating then my pride ever could

So I bust the windows out your car

Because I had to leave a mark that said something

You could never feel what I felt that day unless

I busted those windows out your car

I hope she was worth it

You tried to destroy me as a person and almost succeeded

Even though what you did to me was much worst I had to do something to make it hurt

I bust the windows out your car

Because of all the dinners you missed

I bust the windows out your car

Because you let her take my place

Came into the bedroom and she was in my space

I bust the windows out your car

You should feel lucky that that’s all I did

You really hurt me babe you really

Really really hurt me babe

By: Joaquin M. Turley, Jr.

Unbothered!!!!!!!

I mean WTF I don't get it!!!! If I don't want to be bothered with you then I don't want to be bothered with you!!!!! Why is that so hard for some individuals to understand!!! I mean I this life we live in can be cruel but hey, get over it. I have had to get over my heart being splattered on the floor several times and I am still surviving. I mean the thing is this guy and I never even really got into anything that complicated or serious. Just went out on a few dates that was all.

Just when he was starting to grow on me he turned into this overbearing creature that I did not like at all. I mean he was loving and all at first but then he became crazy and obsessed with me. Telling me he was coming to my job to do all of this non-sense. I told him to lose my number the first time (you see I said the first time) he told me no!!!!! Can you believe that??? He told me that he was NOT going to lose my number OMG a mess right??? I know!!!!

So then he would try to play these mind games with me. Like one day he would call or text and be sweet then the next act like a complete asshole. I mean he was so wishy-washy and I just refused to take it anymore. I had to literally step out of my character and curse his ass OUT!!!! A few times in order to get my point across that I DO NOT repeat, DO NOT want to be bothered with him and his issues.

I have enough on my plate at the moment to be worrying about some dude. I am better than that. In my years of dating I have never encountered anything like this.

Soul Searching!!!

So I am soul searching at the moment. Searching for certain answers to questions that linger in my mind. I mean questions that plauge me, almost haunting my existence. They say you tend to attract certain types of people because of who you are and that this is a reflection of you. So I am desperately trying to look within to see why it is that I attract the people that I do.

Now this is not saying that I tend to attract necessarily bad people. But I am interested to know why I attract the type that loves to just lie to me. That is a common trend among the encounters I have had in this gay lifestyle. So I am stuck searching for answers like is it the lifestyle, me or something else?

I don't know if this means I tend to ask for too much or could it mean that I am sending some lie to me signal off into the universe? Perhaps I want too much out of my relationships? I feel wanting to have an open, honest relationship is not too much to ask. Maybe it is too much to ask of the lifestyle I am living in. I mean I can count on one hand how many relationships I know of that have survived this lifestyle for an extended period of time.

Life tends to confuse me because it seems the most simple things in life are the hardest to attain for some reason within relationships. In my experiences people tend to make things more complicated then they generally have to be. So I am just stuck soul searching now. Caught in between why and how. I feel if you want to be with a person you should just be able to be with them. What is just so hard about that? We as people let worldly obstacles influence and alter some of our decisions. I am not immune to these issue either.

These are just random thoughts that I have in my head. Did any of you have things to add or go through similiar things.

Consistency!!!!!!!!

Hello fellow bloggers and bloggets LOL

I wanted to talk to you guys for a minute about this blog. Firstly, let me start by apologizing because I have slacked so much on this blog. I know I have written this like a million times before, but I will be updating consistently, for now on. This time my perspective is different because I realize that consistency is one of the keys to life.

When I visit other blogs (that I enjoy) and there is nothing new on there, I get upset because i want to read or see something new. Something fresh at least for the day. So I will not let this blog become the blog you visit and expect to see the same thing, or the blog you stop visiting because it is never updated.

For now on there will be at least one new post everyday, that is my promise to you the readers and to myself.